Standing in the arena with you.
I’m Michelle Montgomery, and I am honored you are here.
I want to make one thing perfectly clear. You can trust that you already have everything you need to navigate your organ transplant, organ donation journey, or terminal diagnosis: my work is about meeting you where you are and supporting you.
I do this work because of my sister, Tammi.
I wish I’d known how to do this work when my sister was living with an LVAD and waiting for a heart transplant after being diagnosed with end-stage heart failure.
Not long after turning 30, Tammi caught a virus that destroyed her heart. She was given an LVAD as a bridge to transplant and was on the list for a year and a half.
Her experience as a transplant patient was challenging, though; she was in and out of the hospital with frustrating regularity due to infections, strokes, and a host of other complications. Our family rallied as best we could, stumbling through this new, strange world of medical jargon, nurse rotations, sleepless nights, and big life changes. We tip-toed around hard conversations because we were afraid they had the witchy power of sucking all our hope away and making our fears come to life…
And my sister quietly carried the burden of it all.
Of course she held an infinite amount of optimism. Of course she had fears, uncertainties, frustrations. Of course she felt isolated and struggled with her loss of independence. Of course she thought about her mortality. Of course she had days where she felt like Ironman, and other days when she was so tired she wasn’t sure she wanted to keep forging ahead. She didn’t have to tell us these things…we knew it. And yet, we all found it easier to white-knuckle the platitudes—”focus on the positive,” “take it day by day”. We wore the dark circles under our eyes like badges of pride, and we didn’t let anyone see us cry because vulnerability had no place at our table.
I have an endless well of compassion for my younger self, my family, and my sister. Like thousands of others navigating the transplant journey, or even a terminal diagnosis—we did our very best. How we navigated it was not wrong. There is no right or wrong.
I just wish I knew then what I know now.
Spearheading the concept of a transplant doula…
Tammi died within 48 hours of her transplant due to complications.
Ten years later, I became a death doula and realized the model of care I was using to support terminal patients could be adopted, with some adjustments, for transplant patients. The concept was novel, yet as I began working out the details, it all fit together as though it had always belonged there.
The result is a branch of support for transplant patients and living organ donors that bridges the gap in the care continuum.
My approach is rooted in vulnerability.
I am not an expert on matters of death, dying, organ transplantation, or caregiving. The ‘expertise’ sits squarely in your experience. My purpose, as your doula, is to stand in the arena with you: to be a witness and to support your right to navigate this monumental human experience with unapologetic honesty.
I trust you. And I will gently remind you of how to trust yourself: your own body, (even if parts of it are no longer working the way they should or you are dying) and to trust your own voice (even when other voices in the room may be louder). You already have everything you need to make this experience what you want it to be.
Meet Michelle
Michelle Montgomery provides non-medical, holistic support to individuals and their immediate care circles at any stage of:
- Organ failure
- Organ transplant
- Organ donation
- Terminal diagnosis
As such, she actively participates in ongoing training and learning within the current medical, legal, and social landscapes so that she can develop individualized strategies across end-of-life and organ transplantation matters.
She is also is the creator and lead instructor of The Transplant Doula Training & Network, where she supports individuals from across the world who are interested in stepping into the role of a transplant doula.
She’s an associate member of the International Transplant Nurses Society and holds various certifications and proficiency badges as an end-of-life doula.
She lives in Boynton Beach, Florida with her husband, dog, and cat.
